Hallow bonny lads and lasses, let me tell you about a few different things I really like at the minute, which fads I am in to and what is keeping me amused in my little village retreat of Kings Langley in la-de-daa Hertfordshire.
Hertfordshire it's self is upmarket with villages like this and St.Albans being very affluent and having an organic food shop every other one down. Having said that, Tulisa just moved into the area which lowers the tone a bit and brings the percentage of woman who give a good blowjob right down. Did you see that movie? Pathetic. Especially if you're being filmed, wrap a bit of revlon round it lass.
What I like most about Kings Langley is that it is 25 minutes away from Euston on the train and the social club has 3 proper snooker tables, a pool room and an auditorium with a big screen for the football. I also like the fact you can go into the local Ladbrokes to collect any winnings without the prospect of being murdered on the way out. There is also a posh wine shop that sells any beer you could probably name, including 'The Dog' at a reasonable price.
Lately, I have been putting chilli on everything. It started off with your normal every day fresh chilli from the supermarket, escalated to finger chillis, then birds eye, then scotch bonnet and through a load of tears of suffering, Sainsbury's just can't touch me for spice anymore. Yes I said Sainsbury's. In the South you find Aldi's and Lidl's aren't ten a penny like the grim peasent North, we have Sainsbury's and Waitrose down here. Laaaaa-deeeeee-daaaaaaa. Last week, we travelled to a farm to buy a huge batch of home grown chillis but they don't pack a punch anymore either so now, on the windowsill in front of me, is the beginnings of a chilli plant. The old man suggested a cross breed so that's what the plan is, we'll see how it goes.
This addiction got a bit silly and went from it being in any pasta or meat dishes, cheese and bean toasties, pizzas...just everything I ate really and then finally one Saturday morning....into a fruit milkshake. This is when I realised I had to stop. Banana, Kiwi, Blueberry and Chilli smoothy did not do my digestive system any good at all. Particularly as the idea was a supershake an hour before kick off for my local team. That was a tough game on the old belly.
Chilli has side affects. The main one being the heat. Some chilli peppers are so hot, the Mayans actually used them in battle to throw at their enemy with the seeds in particular reducing vision in battle when they rub it from their eyes and face. This heat also creates pain in the mouth when eating, which then creates endorphins. These endorphines are the body's natural painkillers and give a feeling of wellbeing. Many cultrues also believe it effects the nerve endings and without going into too much detail here...I found out why they call Peri-Peri 'the Portuguese viagra' a few years back when on holiday in the Algarve. They are also twice as high in Vitamin C as citrus fruits and the dried ones are mega rich in Vitamin A.
This isn't why I eat them though. I eat them cos it makes me proper rock and it makes ma lips on fire for the ladies, cha'mone.
Another thing that I really like at the moment is strawberry laces handwash. Sweet Jesus that stuff smells good. It's a bit awkward though when someone walks in to see you licking both your hands like a cat and purring.
I also can't help saying 'Ain't nobody got time for dat' everytime someone moans about something. After hearing the Sweet Brown news report which I will post below, I have found this to do 1 of 3 things. 1) Annoy People 2) Make people laugh 3) Stop people moaning all the time or stop speaking to you full stop.
If you haven't already seen this, please do watch it, it's fucking excellent - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh7UgAprdpM
Other things on my list of stuff I like at the moment are cooking linguines and throwing random ingredients in, swing music and Elvis Presley. And the song on the Aristocats 'Everybody wants to be a cat'
Peace.
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